Addiction

This heartburn
Excruciating pain
I am addicted to it
And I crave it again
Followed by regret
Everytime
This process of stirring up
And settling down of suffering
Covering up the heart with sadness
Like dust covers the leaves beside the country road
Happiness washes the sadness away
Just like rain washes the leaves
Only leaving the leaves more vulnerable to dust
This cycle of happiness and pain
Satisfying and addicting
And like all addictions
Self destructing
But when has “Smoking causes cancer” stopped people from smoking?
The feeling of yourself rising just like smoke
And seeing problems turn into ash even temporarily is rewarding enough
An escape, that’s what most addiction are really
And then there are
The love affair with addictions
The addictions of love affair
Making it all seem real beyond imagination
Of how real reality could be
So this addiction of pain I have
I take my portion of pain from love
For the sake of no adulteration
For better hallucinations
I love lost causes
I love false hopes

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